So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
my poor anus
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
