Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
