The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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