I'm gonna have a badass scar
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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