Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
