Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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