I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
