Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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