mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
