using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
