I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
