I'm jealous of your bromance
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
