first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize