My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize