Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
