I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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