guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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