Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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