I only kidnapped one of them. chill
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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