That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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