You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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