My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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