After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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