next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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