im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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