Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
