Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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