I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
