how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
