When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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