Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
