the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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