Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
