I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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