It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
