The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
