We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
