Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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