you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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