Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Boobs speak an international language.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
