So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
