butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
