FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
