Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
