we have officially lost it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
