He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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