Swine flu. Run for my life!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize