I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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