I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
