Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
