No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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