you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
