His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
