ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
