it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
